ah... im bored out of my mind!so i desided to just write in my lil journal! well umm.. u can see my life is like dull lol all i do is type on the computer about my pathetic life i have! oh well i love it! i like being the lazy fat ass that i am! i just wish samantha would come back and stop doing her fucking summer school homework and talking to her wife chantel!(sam i think i got right this time) lol anyways! yah im hella fucking bored and i miss everyone! kinda! lol jk jk! i mostly miss my hubby! but psha! whatever if he doesnt have time for me then ::sticks out tongue:: anyways i think i have a few lil words for him right now! okay....well listen B u no i love u so so much but i mean u wont tell anyone we are going out and i mean ur bffe (jamie), okay i mean u have been friends for like ever right? right okay so ur hidding sumthing from him i mean what kinda of realationship is that! i bet he tells u everything and look u dont tell him jack! and all ur other friends...how sad babe that u cant even tell ur best friend that we are going out!!! and if ur afraid they wont be ur friend! then god what kind of friends are thos i will tell u they arent good ones if they just leave u cuZ they dont like me! thats between me and them not u and them! look i think if they found out then they would be even mader! dont u think! hidding things from friends isnt cool! and i no that!! i have been there and done that! and just take advice even u no i no u wont but whatever! i hope ur having funn doing sum chick in canada that i will never find out about!well peeps! do u think its right that hes hidding all this shit huh? cuz i dont think so! and he doesnt like to listen to me! sheeesh! what are u ashamed of me!!???! cause i dont think im that bad i mean im kinda in a lil way cute! well my hair is!! and umm.thats it! well yah umm..yah it was soo funny today my bffe hunter IMed and was like i wanna do amanda(my bffe) and hes like i want her i miss her and everything like this and i was like oh my god i have never heard this come out of ur mouth hes goes i no but im in love with her i was like u have a g/f and hes like no not no more! and i was like omg and so hes like im going to have sex with her! so she called him and i will update u later!!!! haha i love thos kinda storys were they go nowhere!!!! wo! yah well im going to go watch SNL and i think maybe degrassti i hope its on i love that show! love u guys xpectaly SAMANTHA STEPHENS!! shes my love! and i love her and im sorry again!!!I LOVE YOU!!!

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well im back at jeff(my step dads) moms house! yah i just drove..well heres my schedule... Sunday-drove 7 hours to grand junction monday-rested at home tuesday-drove 6 hours to ft. collins wed-drove back to grand junction (6 hours) thurs-drving to the lake friday-driving 7 hours home! yah i officaly HATE the car!haha but i love to drive isnt that funny! haha yah right now im talking to samantha s.! yes sam S. yah we are friends again! i love her so so mcuh and i missed her so so much! i mean shes my bffe! and she has been for 5 years! so i mean i cant be mad at her! and i would like cry everytime i thought about her!mann! im so happy! and yah i feel hella good! hah yah ithink im going to the doctor wen i get home! cuz i think im bi polar! but i dont no! lol so im going to go see if i am! cuz everybody thinks so! so yah! i feel stupid tho but oh well they can give me meds to help!! yah im going to go look at the hick skater boys outside and tell my bffe a really gross story!yah okay im going now bye bye all!

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okay omg i love colorado and im never ever leaving! yah its kinda boring cause i have no friends what so ever here but still i have degrassti omg i love that show! wow i sound annoying ahaha yah well back home i dont really do anything either but watever well right now im talking to my friend nick about ..umm nothing hhaha about eggs and ...nvm anyways umm yah i miss my weirdo boyfriend thats in a different country and hasnt talked to me sence the day he left!!! cough cough!! dude hes probally doing sum chick and im totally clueless about it all!and i no the lil fucker will not telling me anything but oh well we just sat around and watched tv! ahh!!welll thats just grand as u can see im kinda pisssed! and all i can think about is i wonder wat hes doing i wonder who is doing is she good! ah.yah anyways just to be mean to him before i came to colorado i met a boy named larry and hes really nice!! ::rubs in face:: yah anyways lifes okay right now minus the facts that im in a hick town..lol and my bf is in a diff. country! yah i wish there was sum ppl here that wouldnt look at me funny! ok im the only person in this town that has 2 colors in there hair and that wears a skirt !! like no fucking joke! and then they stair! im like dude go find ur gameboy advance and go home! i hate thos geeks that think they are so cool and dress in there grannys clothes! yah and i like to sit in the backyard and eat cheese and crackers!yummy! so yah im hella bored and im always on aim so please IM me okay! pequitopeguin1 thanks! -genie

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hey guys im leaving for colorado in the morning im so happy i get to get out of hell hole nevada!!yah well i just wanted to tell u lol hehe not like ppl will miss me but watever i guess thats all i have to say love ya guys ..and my fish is fine!Genie

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sorry i havent written in a while but i mean a lot of shit has been going on! yah well life is kinda good i mean its not that bad i just kinda keep to myself and stay inside! yah well im going to colorado on fourth of july and yah and i gots myself a nice boy! yah but hes away :( kinda sad huh? yah its all good tho. yah so i dont no if he asked me out on sunday the 27th err monday the 28th cuz like it was like at 2:40 ish so i think i willjust go with monday! so yah anyways i think thats all i have to say !:) well my fish is doing good..thanks fo asking lol genie

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living the dead breathing the air i might be happy on the outside but inside im dieing craving to live! im ruined ! theres no life without being happy so y live?thats the question i will answer on my own. i dont want to live so y should i? i think about leaving my few friends behind and how sad life would be without them! but then i look at that they are just like the others! whoever said friendship is forever is so wrong b/c it isnt not even close! i dont have a true friend and i dont have a true life ..this life u say i have isnt life life is were ur happy and things are good and cheerfull! look at me i want to kill 3 ppl! i drive myself crazy thinking about myself! nobody cares! everyone lies! lies i swear they ruin things look at me they ruined me! u cant trust anyone they turn on as fast as u can say friendship! trust me i no ..ppl use things against me! nobody has a true friend unless they no they would always be there and always pick u over everyone! and nobodys like that so y try and find them!Relationships are just friendships gone bad! If u think u found the one true love, look again...ask urself the question why..why do u love them? why are u with them? then rethink the marriage and children! is life suppost to be hell? i thought thats were we went wen we died! but im living it here and now! why does life go this way? why why me? i didnt do anything to desvier this!! im caring and loving! nobody understands that! i do care! i do love! why do ppl think this way y are they so crazy..or maybe im the crazy one!? who knows! nobody does!! friendship is the worst thing u can have! i mean it hurts so much wen the person u thought loved u turns on u! why would u want sumthing like that? but on the other hand who wants to live a life lonely? these questions i ask myself everyday! and never get an answer! i wish i could b/c i would like to live and love again! but instead i sit thinking about how i can kill myself! is that life? i dont think it is!! i think thats pathetic!! I have the ppl i love to thank for the pain i went threw! everyone of them EVERYONE has done sumthing to ruin my life! the ppl i think love me dont! now i cant trust anyone! look what everyone has done to me! i hate crying myself to sleep and never having a good day. as everyone else thinks about the wonderfull day they are going to have ..i think about killing myself and others! and about how i had a horrible day and the next will be too! think about living life without anyone just ppl that turn on u! and make u suffer! why do i live? i dont im dead inside and life isnt life without being happy.right?

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